Always
by CPD5021George
Summary: An Upstead one-shot. Jay sees Hailey with Adam and gets the wrong idea of what is happening.


**While I'm working on my next longer story, here's a one-shot. The original idea wasn't mine, but a friend's. My mind started working and gave it my twist. That's what happens when you talk Upstead.**

**Enjoy**

* * *

After a long day at work Hailey Upton finally entered the locker room in the 21st precinct, she wanted nothing more than grab her stuff and go home. The day had been exhausting, wrapping up a gruesome case that had been difficult for her and her partner, Jay Halstead.

She stopped dead when she heard a strange noise – it sounded as if someone was crying, trying hard to stop. Who was it? Should she check or should she leave, pretending she didn't hear anything?

But Hailey knew she couldn't just leave. She quietly entered the room completely, cautiously looked around the corner to see who it was she heard. And to her surprise she saw Adam, sitting on the floor, head in his hands, crying.

Without thinking, she rushed to his side, sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked softly. "Kim? The baby?"

Adam nodded.

"I'm so sorry you two lost the baby," Hailey said. "Anything I can do to help?"

He sighed, pulled back a bit. "Nobody can do anything to help."

"You're right, Adam," Hailey agreed. "I can not even imagine what it must be like to lose a baby. But I'm here if you need a friend."

"Thanks." Adam hesitated. "I don't know what to do," he finally admitted. "You know, I know how hard it is for Kim, and I try to be there for her, but she pushes me away. I understand, and I want to give her space, but…"

"But you're hurting too." Hailey finished his sentence. "Of course you are. And the best would be if you two could get over this together. But don't blame her."

"I don't."

"Adam, whenever you need a friend, I'm here." She replied and rubbed his back. "I still care for you, you know that."

Adam leaned his head against hers, grateful for her friendship. They knew each other well enough that he could admit his sorrow to her.

After a while the door opened, and Jay's head appeared in the open door. When he saw the two of them sitting together, he retreated immediately. "Sorry, I didn't want to disturb," he murmured and was gone.

Hailey briefly lifted her head to look after Jay, but when he was gone so quickly, she concentrated on Adam again.

"Want to go to Molly's?" she asked when Adam had calmed down. She had planned to spend the night home alone, perhaps with Jay, but this was more important. "The others will be there too. Everyone's here for you."

Thankful Adam agreed.

* * *

Half an hour later they arrived at Molly's, and in fact the others were there: Kevin, Jay, Vanessa. Only Kim was absent, but Hailey had expected that. They joined their colleagues, and Hailey automatically headed for her usual spot next to Jay, while Adam joined Kevin.

Jay briefly glanced at Hailey, then continued talking to Kevin.

Adam was relatively quiet at first, but quickly Kevin and Vanessa made him talk, and he relaxed a bit. When he laughed, Hailey looked at him with raised eyebrows, and Adam winked back at her.

Jay, however, became more and more quiet, Hailey noticed. He stared into his beer, didn't talk to her, didn't move.

"Hey, you here?" she asked jokingly.

"Yup," he just answered without even looking up.

Interesting. She didn't know how to react, so she went to the bar and got another round of shots for the whole group.

Still Jay seemed to be sulking. When Hailey handed out the shots, he didn't say a word, didn't look at her, just downed it quickly.

"Jay!" she whispered in his direction. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm going home."

And with that he grabbed his jacket and was out before Hailey could react.

Great, now she had to call a cab. Jay had picked her up in the morning, she needed a ride home.

"Sorry guys," she said. "Have fun without me. I need to check on someone."

Hailey took her stuff, called the cab and waited for it outside. It was clear to everyone that she was following Jay, but nobody said anything. They wouldn't get an answer anyway.

* * *

Once she stood outside of Molly's, in the street, she started thinking. Should she go home? Or should she follow Jay? This behavior wasn't like him. She was annoyed that he had given her the silent treatment without even telling her why; and a part of her wanted to leave it at that and just drive home. But a very loud voice in her head didn't have that. Yes, she was annoyed, but she wanted to know what was going on.. During the day everything had been normal, but after seeing her in the locker room with Adam… _oh, wait,_ it suddenly dawned on her, _he saw me with Adam. Now we're getting somewhere…_

No, she would definitely not go home, she needed to talk to Jay. Why would he get angry when she talked to Adam?

So when the cab finally arrived, she gave the driver Jay's address, hoping he did in fact drive home and not to another bar to get wasted. In that case she would have to wait for him to come home. And it would not get any easier to talk.

* * *

Jay's car was standing outside of his house, which was a good sign. Determined, Hailey walked up the few steps to his door, only briefly questioning herself. Before she could change her mind, however, she knocked on the door.

Jay was home, she could see that the light was switched on, but he didn't answer.

She knocked again, louder now.

"Jay, open the door!"

Finally she could hear footsteps approaching, and Jay opened the door, slowly and reluctantly.

"What do you want?" He didn't seem happy to see her, not at all.

"What do you think?" Hailey answered, before she squeezed inside past him. She didn't wait for him to follow, but went straight into the living room, where she could see an open bottle of whiskey.

She threw her jacked on the couch, then put her hands on her hips and waited for Jay.

"Would you please tell me what's going on with you?" she asked sharply.

"What do you think?" he repeated her question from before.

"What do I think? Jay, don't do that. We have to work together, and if you're pissed off about something, then let me know."

"You know exactly what I'm angry about."

Hailey tilted her head. "Oh, I know. Then why am I here asking you?"

"Don't make me say it."

"Say what, Jay?"

He scoffed, grabbed his glass and downed a quite large whiskey.

"So that's your answer? Great." Hailey was pacing around in the room, now more furious than impatient. "Jay, grow up and tell me!"

Jay stared at her, conflicting emotions showing in his face. For the first time this evening he seemed to be a bit insecure.

"Jay!"

"Okay," he yelled at her. "You want to know why I'm mad?"

"Yes!"

"I'm mad because you hit on Adam – after all that happened. Why don't you leave Kim and him alone?"

"What?" Hailey asked incredulously. "I *hit* on Adam?"

"Yes, you did. I saw you."

Now it was Hailey's turn to be mad, and she almost exploded.

"You think I hit on Adam?"

"Of course you did," Jay insisted. "I saw you."

"You are such an asshole, Jay." Hailey yelled. "I didn't hit on Adam, I tried to comfort him. I wanted to be there for him, because he is my friend. And while everyone is trying to help Kim – which is good – nobody really seems to notice that Adam is hurting too. Including you." Her voice became calmer, colder and calmer. "Don't you dare say I hit on him."

Jay scoffed, either unable or unwilling to answer.

"Oh, so now you don't know what to say? Why would you care anyway?"

"Because…"

"What?"

"Because you should keep out of this."

"Why? Because you're jealous? Wouldn't be the first time."

Jay could barely stop himself from flinching. Yes, he was jealous. And he knew this was why he was so angry. He didn't want to see Hailey being close with Adam.

"This is Adam and Kim's business. Not yours. You can't help everyone. Stop interfering."

"Oh, you can't help everyone?" Hailey spat out. "I should stop interfering? Now that's funny coming from you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, aren't you the guy who almost got killed because he wanted to help the pretty widow of a criminal that got killed?"

"That was different. I didn't…"

"Oh sure, that was different." Hailey replied, her eyes being a darker shade of blue due to her anger. "That was different because you are the knight in shining armor helping the poor widow. Yeah right. And what about Camilla? You almost ruined your career for her."

"What about her? We were dating."

Hailey was now dead calm, and in a normal state of mind, Jay would have noticed how dangerous that was. "So that's different, because whatever you do is acceptable, while what I do is not?"

"You dated Adam." Jay yelled.

"Yes, dated – past tense. And still – it's none of your fucking business if I want to date him again. Hell, I wonder why I was so worried about you when this bitch shot you. Why did I even care?"

"Yeah, a shame you couldn't run right back into his arms!"

That was enough for Hailey, before she knew what she was doing, she slapped him in the face.

Instinctively Jay grabbed her wrist, held her hand. He didn't use any force, his grip was light, but Hailey gave in immediately. Both were shocked by the slap, stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

And suddenly Hailey could literally see how the anger in Jay's face crumbled, and what remained looked more like a scared boy.

"Yes," he admitted slowly. "You were right. I am jealous."

Hailey could feel her heart beating faster. "You were?"

"You shouldn't be with Adam," he blurted out. "You should be with me."

For a split-second Hailey tried to realize what he just said, and then her instincts took over. She pushed Jay against the wall, kissed him as if she were drowning and clinging to him for her life.

At first Jay was too surprised to react to Hailey, whose hands were suddenly all over his body, ripping his shirt out of his pants, touching his skin, sending shivers down his spine.

"You're such an idiot," Hailey gasped in between kisses. "Such an idiot, Jay Halstead. It has always been you. Don't you know that?"

She hastily pulled his shirt all the way up and over his head and threw it away, then looked at him.

Finally Jay seemed to understand. "Always me?" he managed to utter.

"Are you blind?" she answered, now lifting her face to his again. "Of course."

Hailey could feel his heart beating faster, his eyes widened. Quickly she got rid of her shirt too, and now Jay seemed to wake up. His hands were all over her, and they were shaking when he tried to open her bra. Impatiently she helped him, pushing herself against the touch of his hands. It felt so good, she had goosebumps all over just from the touch of his hands. Not wanting to wait any longer, he picked her up, she wrapped her legs around him, as he carried her into the bedroom. He threw her on the bed, his earlier anger transformed into hunger and urgency, when he undressed first her then himself. Their kisses were hard and passionate, as was their love-making. Neither lasted long, both were too impatient, longing for the other so bad. They had been dancing around each other for too long.

* * *

Afterwards, Jay let himself fall down on his back.

Both Jay and Hailey were breathing hard.

They looked at each other, and for the first time this evening both smiled, smiled an exhausted but happy smile at the other.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk," Jay said quietly. "I should have known better."

"You're forgiven, Jay," Hailey answered. "And I'm sorry for yelling at you, and for slapping you."

"You're forgiven, Hailey," Jay replied, smiling softly at her. "Were you serious?" he asked. "It has *always* been me?"

"Yes, Jay. Since the moment I met you," Hailey simply answered.

"And it has always been you, Hailey." Jay said.


End file.
